ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE ETIQUETTE OF SOCIAL DANCE (part 2)
Now you are an attentive dancer who always thinks first of his partner. But building a reputation takes some time. What makes someone popular at first glance? If You look around the dance hall at the beginning of the song, you will see that the dancers are wandering around, looking through the crowd, looking for the next dance partner. You certainly think that not all of them know their potential partners. Then who are they looking for?
Here are some answers:
Good dancers are in demand: This is by far the most effective way to become popular in dancing circles. Regardless of everything else, good dancers are always in demand. This should serve as a strong incentive to learn to dance better and better. There is no need to know a million figures, but you need to have a good technique and clearly lead/follow. Practice, practice and practice again! And then a little more practice (Read the article “What you need to do to become a good dancer?”).
Dancers are looking for dancers: Dancers are more likely to look for those they see on the dance floor. The second thing they look at those who are sitting on the sidelines. Perhaps this is due to a sense of confidence that someone seen on the dance floor is a good dancer or less likely to refuse. Without going into the reasons for this, if You are seen on the dance floor, then You are more likely to be invited to the next dance. Think of it as a form of inertia for dancers. Overcoming this inertia will help You get a nice night of dance. Make every effort to get the first few dances when you come to the party, afterwards it will be easier.
Dance shoes: dancers are looking for dancers but how to identify a good dancer if You don’t see his dance? The answer: on shoes for dances! At a dance event where people do not know each other, You may notice that experienced dancers look through the crowd, not looking at the faces, but rather looking at the feet! Investing in a pair of dance shoes is a sign of enthusiasm and enthusiasm for dancing. Dancers know that dance shoes increase Your chances of being invited.
Dancers are looking for those who say “Yes”: no one likes to be refused. In addition, it’s a waste of time: between songs is not so much time, if You refused several times, the dance will be lost. If You refuse to dance, or if You look strict, Your chances of being invited are reduced. That brings us to the next point.
Desire, willingness to dance: Stand close to the edge of the dance floor. Watch the dancers, stomp your feet to the music. Smile. Dancers will pay attention to You if they feel that You want to dance. Better yet, don’t wait to Be invited, invite someone to dance! What’s the worst that can happen? Even if You are refused, You will show your willingness to dance.
Sense of humor, attractiveness: Be nice to your partner. He or she was kind enough to ask You to dance or agree to dance with You, so pay him back. Remember, You should both have fun, so have fun! Behave pleasantly or at least imitate. Most importantly, smile!
Physical attractiveness: This is one of the factors that we cannot always control. But it is obvious that in dance, as elsewhere, good-looking people have a certain advantage. Men, usually, will aspire to pretty women. Women, complaining about the superficiality of men, usually behave no better.
However, for most of us who don’t have the looks of a movie star, there is good news. A pretty face might help in getting invited to the first dance, but ultimately, individuality, a sense of humor, and most importantly the ability to dance, surpass a pretty face (at least on the dance floor).
We already know that it is not necessary to constantly invite the same partner. According to etiquette, we can dance no more than 2 songs in a row with the same partner, so that everyone has a variety of partners. This is good not only from a position of justice, it is also useful for You: if You dance with everyone, Your dancing skills will improve.
Dancing with different partners is the cornerstone of social dancing. This General principle applies to everyone, including those who are romantically involved in dance. A romantic couple who dances only with each other undermines the structure of social dances, refusing to contribute to them.
Romantic couples who refuse to dance with others can often do so out of fear: people fear for the reliability of their romance by dancing with someone else or are jealous when their lover dances with someone else. These negative emotions are unfounded and are the result of completely invalid concepts of social dance. An invitation or acceptance of a dance invitation is not binding outside of a specific song, usually 3-5 minutes. Think of it as a brief conversation with someone at a reception, followed by the next conversation. The desire to dance and the refusal to dance with everyone is as boring and pointless as walking away from everyone without talking to anyone. We learn more about it in the theme “Dance and romance”.
A great way to increase the circle of familiar dancers is to invite beginners to dance. I still like to remember advanced dancers who, with a certain degree of regularity, asked me to dance when I was a beginner. Dancing with beginners is not only an excellent way to develop Your leading/following skills, but it is also a great human investment that will pay off very well, because dancers are not beginners for a long time. Don’t think of dancing with a newbie as a charity, You’re doing yourself a favor.
On the other hand, be reasonable in inviting more experienced partners than You. If everyone was always looking for a better partner than he was, no one would dance with anyone. The experienced dancers you invite may initially accept Your invitations, but if you pursue them, they will start avoiding You. My Golden rule: the frequency of inviting others to dance is inversely proportional to their level of dance. If someone much better You dancing, then invite their not often (of course, not hesitate to to accept invitation, when invite they You). If someone is on the same level with You or dancing worse than You, you can invite them more often.
How to encourage dancers, especially the best dancers, to dance with You? Just be attentive, friendly, cheerful, continue to develop in the dance.
And finally, about permanent partners on dancing: is worth whether have a permanent partner, depends on many factors. The obvious advantages of having a permanent partner: there is someone with whom you can go to class (Read the article “How to get the most out of dance lessons?”), to train at home or to dance at events, especially those where other dancers are not frequent. However, it can have certain nuances and negatively affect other parts of Your life. Dance partners are a very special kind of relationship with an unstable balance, the maintenance of which is very nontrivial. The interaction of a dance partnership with Your personal and romantic life is something special and should be considered in more detail.
There are many arguments for and against regular dance partners. The fairness of each of these arguments varies greatly depending on the individuals involved. Like any other relationship, a dance partnership requires care, attention and a waste of time and effort. Before you become someone’s dance partner, make sure You are ready to make the necessary personal investments to succeed together.
It is worth noting that in social dances there is no need for everyone to have a permanent partner. In social dance everyone dances with everyone except the first and last dance of the evening which can be reserved.